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its_bel
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Name: Bel
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Birthday: 3/12/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: - laying on the lawn and staring up at the sky
- endless horizons
- prairie landscapes + sunsets
- road trips
- traveling into the unknown
- taking photographs
- learning new things
- trying new things
- seeing new things
- eating. eating. eating
- a good nights sleep
- lazy summer days
- cozy winter nights
- laughing until my tummy hurts
- moments that take my breath away...
Expertise: "i am still learning..."
- Michelangelo
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
3/15/2003
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| you are such a fool to worry like you do
i know its tough and you can never get enough
of what you don't really need now
my oh my
you've got to get yourself together
you've got stuck in a moment
now you can't get out of it
oh lord look at you now
you've got yourself stuck in a moment
and you can't get out of it
i wasn't jumping for me it was a fall it's a long way down to nothing at all. | | |
| I had a revelation today. I've been sleeping on the floor in my living room, amongst all of my work for about the past month, and up until now I haven't been able to understand why it is that I do that. So here it is: I've been falling asleep on the floor surrounded by my work, sometimes with all the lights on and my itunes blaring because I feel like I don't deserve to sleep. And, if I'm going to sleep, I can't leave my work and it better be an uncomfortable sleep. This way I don't feel as guilty about getting some sleep.
I can't seem to escape it. | | |
| i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know
i don't know. | | |
| What started out as an aimless drive around the neighborhood today turned into a search for the houses that old friends or people that I had at some point known, had lived in. Being there, in front of their houses brought back a flood of memories... of birthday parties, play dates, sleep overs and after school adventures. I wondered where they were; if they still lived there, or where it was that they were living in the city, in the country, in the world, but more so where they were in life. Are they married? Do they have kids? Where are they working? Are they still in school? I wondered what they had done with their lives, and what they had become. I wondered what it was that made us lose touch. I wondered what things would be like had we still kept in touch. Then I thought that in 5 or 10 years, I may look back again and think the same of the friends I have now, wondering where they were and what they have become. Why is it that people are constantly coming and going in and out of our lives?
As I was about to turn the corner leading me home, something brought me to one more house. It was the house of a close friend who I hadn't see in two years, not because we for some reason lost touch, but because he suddenly passed away. Driving up to his house again today reminded me of the drive to his house the night that he passed away. There was the hope that he would appear from his garage door while trying to keep his dog inside once again, like he always did. While the garage door remained shut, the realization that things were never going to be the same again set in. Although a new family has moved into the house since that time, the home that I had once known to be always full of life and energy now seemed empty and stagnant. | | |
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Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
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